Cheese

We had friends over for dinner and the subject of cheese came up. Natural enough as we were noshing on some nice 4 year old cheddar, some Boursin herbed cream cheese (which is the secret to my Snugglebunny's orgasmic cheesy scalloped potatoes) and nippy blue while waiting for the curry to be done. Mrs. Friend opined that "CheezWhiz" the processed spiced cheese product is an abomination. I rather like it on crackers to be honest.

I'm pretty broad church when it comes to cheese. Old Cheddar, Gouda, Gruyere and Brie for snacking (CheezWhiz too, but a proper Cheddar spread is excellent as well, I won't say 'better' just different). It's become a family tradition to have a fondue made with gruyere and jarlsberg every New Year's Eve. My wife likes a chunk of Velveeta with tea (although it's now priced so heavily it's cheaper to buy old cheddar or a good brie). Grated marble for making macaroni and cheese. A younger cheddar (2 or 3 yr old) or Swiss for sandwhiches. For burgers and grilled cheese I actually prefer those processed cheese slices over cheddar slices. They melt nicely and the creaminess makes for a pleasant comforting goo in between the slices of industrial white bread (about the only use for which is IMO grilled cheese sandwhiches).

I was facing the dairy cooler the other day. Shuffling 500 g blocks of cheese into neat stacks. Whenever we have a sale the old cheddar, the mozzarella and the marble sell quickest. Then the mild cheddar. But Medium Cheddar is the loser in the pack. Really we just shouldn't order any extra for a sale. Those who like cheese get the old cheddar (and we're talking Black Diamond or Cracker Barrel here, so really how old can it be? 2 years maybe?) and those who are afraid of strong cheese get the mild. The medium just loses out in the middle. Kind of sad. I'm sure it's a perfectly good cheese just waiting for a recipe.

About the only thing I really object to are 'cheese strings' or 'fun cheez'. I mean cheese already is fun. And convenient. Cut off a chunk and eat. How hard can it be? But cheese strings just take a perfectly good food and turn it into some chewy, waxy tasteless horror. Perhaps they don't want kids to actually like cheese?

In the movie "Notorious" (the one about Truman Capote writing "In Cold Blood" not the one about the rapper), big city, cosmopolitan writer Truman goes to small town Kansas to research his book. He's in the grocery store looking at a giant display of Velveeta bricks (back in the day when it was cheap so that's what mom bought to top the hamburger casserole with). There aren't any other cheeses in evidence. In despair he turns to the woman shopping nearby and says:
"Is that all there is?"
She replies: "Well how much did you want?"